Don't Trip Over What's Behind You: Finding Resilience in Doula Work: Part 1
Ah, the life of a brand new doula. I remember those days vividly. Agonizing over every perceived mistake I made, being ridiculously hard on myself for not knowing EVERY. SINGLE. THING. about childbirth and parenting. My early doula years, I was soooo full of passion and excitement, with expectations so high they could have caused a nosebleed. Little did I know that reality would eventually come crashing down, courtesy of the on-call lifestyle and the unpredictable nature of doula work. The stress I used to carry about past clients, past words, and all the tiny missteps… talk about imposter syndrome!
One day, in the midst of my self-imposed anxiety, I stumbled upon a quote that literally made my stomach flip. This quote was just what I needed to push past the imposter syndrome and really begin to shine in my purpose as a doula. That quote? "Don't trip over what is behind you."
Oh, how those words resonated with me! Suddenly, I imagined myself doing an actual trip-and-fall over my past mistakes, and the absurdity of it all made me burst out laughing. Who knew that a dose of humor could be the antidote to my imposter-syndrome-induced madness?
It was in that moment that I realized I had been taking myself way too seriously and putting immense pressure on myself. Sure, I wanted to be the best doula out there, but at what cost? Stressing over all the little imperfections was like carrying a boulder on my back while trying to sprint a marathon. It was time to lighten the load!
From that day forward, I made a pact with myself. I would let go of the unnecessary baggage of perfectionism and embrace the joy of imperfection. After all, who needs a doula with branded t-shirts and a perfectly curated doula bag when you can have one who can crack a joke in the birth room and make a woman feel like a literal goddess in the midst of labor? It was then that I realized, that all the education or the perfect branding isn’t what made me a good doula… it’s what made me marketable. But what made me a good doula, was my heart, my humanness, and my desire to serve and support my clients.
For me, finding resilience as a doula meant finding the beauty in the chaos and the humanity of it all. It meant accepting that mistakes happen. It meant laughing off the mishaps, knowing that they were simply part of the wild ride of doula work. It meant learning from my mistakes and striving to do better each and every time. And let me tell you, the more I embraced this lighthearted approach, the more I saw the positive impact it had on both myself and my clients.
So, my fellow doulas, let's try not take ourselves too seriously. Yes, professionalism is important; training is important; marketing yourself is important. But the most important thing about your work as a doula is the YOU… what you bring to the table in your own uniqueness and life experience. Will you join me in embracing the quirks, the imperfections, and the hilarious moments that come with this rollercoaster ride of #doulalife? If you ever find yourself tripping over what's behind you, bring yourself back to the core of your why. The reason you became a doula. Get back to yourself and remember that you’re only human.